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It’s been about 15+ steady yrs of social media from Friendster to MySpace to Facebook with a 2yr heavy dose of Twitter, Snapchat, and Instagram sprinkled in with work on my personal website. It’s been fun, entertaining, a way to connect with new friends abroad, share my book and is a fantastic trip down memory lane. It’s also crazy exhausting!!!

I’ve decided to take a social media detox (effective immediately) to do less scrolling and more living!! I would like to be in the present moment and not necessarily trying to capture my next best photo, document my awesome life, or discover my next mini blog post. Thanks y’all for following along, come see me in person for a visit, text, or call!! XOXO
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A fun interview on female orgasms I did recently with Talk To Me Taylor! Crack me up! Happy Saturday friends!

www.youtube.com/watch?v=bdCN15-vNRk
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I recently received an email that I would like to share with you all. It is a story that so many #herpes positive people out there go through. I want to share the story and my response to this person. (Even if you don’t have herpes, check out the “Find Your Way Back” video at the end, it’s amazingly inspirational and may apply to something in your life!!)

This email is from a self described “horrible monster” who was diagnosed with genital HSV several years ago, has been sexually active without disclosing to her partners, and, like many of us, is fed up and wants to change their ways. For those of you following along with my history, that was my story. And for those of you out there in this person’s shoes, we won’t be the last. This person does not want to hurt people and feels like “a vampire who wishes s(he) wasn’t one… I have these biological urges to ‘suck blood’. I put it off again and again and use substitutions. Once a year, I’m drunk and someone is practically begging me and I snap. I feel like I don’t deserve to be happy, to move on, to be alive because of what I have done. I want to be completely honest with everyone around me. I feel like I can’t do that without them asking questions about my past and they won’t understand why I’ve been dishonest in the past. They will think of me as a horrible person. I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. Do you have any advice?”

My email response to this person (with additional info) is here:
1) what you did before was your survival mode and that is ok. That was your method for keeping you sane and functional. The difference between then and now is that you are fully aware what you did was wrong and are ready to take the next step. Moving forward you can make a positive choice for your future in disclosure. You don’t need to be stuck in a shame cycle. We can’t change the past, we can only move forward from this vantage point. The universe puts us in a position to grow, this is an opportunity for your own personal transportation.

2) for others to accept what you did, you have to learn to accept and love yourself first. No one will give you permission for nondisclosing until your give yourself permission to forgive yourself. That may be the bigger piece of it. I have tools to complete that if you like. It is important to know that you were being dishonest about one thing, it doesn’t translate into dishonesty everywhere else. If partners question you, perhaps something to consider is: Have you gone through life without making a single mistake? Are you good enough to judge me?

3) when you start to disclose it may not be perfect the first time. Give yourself space that you won't be 100% at your best when you disclose. I had a script, I was jittery and shaky and could barely get through it my first time. I did, and through other successful ones too and you will get there too.

4) realize that you are not alone. I didn't disclose and was sexually active, and you didn't either. I will tell you in my work I have met MANY people who are in the same shoes. Like it is said in the bible and other quotes: "For those who judge us, let them cast the first stone." We have all done things in our past that we may be ashamed of. I did mine for 13 years, you did yours for 7. Others have done other things they are not proud of for much longer. It is overcoming what we did in the past that we now recognize is not right that the growth comes.

5) everyone loves a come back story. Just like Robert Downey Jr who had a period of substance abuse, legal troubles, and career upset to now commercial success to pretty much every romantic comedy movie out there, the public is rooting for those who have made mistakes, realize them, and correct it for the good of themselves and the population.

6) Please learn from my story and realize you can change your course and be honest with partners. It is safe! Admit your sexual history to your future partners moving forward. Stand strong and confident in your past decisions, in this one, and future ones, and believe in the positive future that you deserve!

Check out this inspirational video from Lisa Nichols “Find Your Way Back.”:
“How did I get here? How will I get out? How do I move from this place?”
“If you can feel it right now, If you feel something stirring in your soul, just that little something, you can’t even describe it, then you’re still in the game… it ain’t ever too late to press reset and fall madly in love with the life that you’ve been given. If you don’t think you get to press reset, it is not over. Matter of fact, it has just begun.”
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The 3 sentences that changed Lisa Nichols' life forever Discover Lisa Nichols' 24 strategies to create the life that you want. Download your FREE checklist today: bit.ly/FreeAbundance-Checklis...

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Today was a tough day mentally and physically. I did this Kalalua Trail hike to Hanakapiai Falls 3 yrs ago and I noticed early this morning my body just wasn’t as agile and fit as back then. We faced mud, humidity, rocks with direct vertical climbs, hugging rock cliffs, gnarled roots, and I went through many mental feels of elation, doubt, and pride. Literally saw a Korean lady almost fall off the cliff and we were able to help her. Ended up using a lot of my breathing techniques from yoga and #mindovermatter mentality in my weak moments. I thought about turning back several times and questioning why I put myself through the madness. Instead, I let the people pass behind me and I took the trail at my own pace. No pressure, just me.

I am so proud of the work and mental strength I displayed today. Just with all things in life, sometimes what we want (aka the insanely beautiful waterfall) is not always handed to us (aka drive right up to the waterfall). We have to work for them (aka go through 8 miles of hiking), put in the sweat and put up with mental games and the payoff will be worth it (rainbows, cool water, and stunning waterfalls). There will definitely be stumbles, lost footing, slipping off of rocks, wading waist deep in active streams, emotional ups and downs, doubts and successes. We can’t be expected to do our tasks 100% perfectly every time we try something.

What have you challenged yourself with today? What mental blocks did you have that you were able to overcome by taking a pause and a couple deep breaths? There is growth in discomfort and challenge, don’t deprive yourself of the opportunity to surprise yourself and get a gorgeous payout!
(Video of the well deserved waterfall in the comments below!)
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Hi Facebook Babes out there! I'm going on a 2 wk vacation!!! Very excited, haven't taken some time off since May and I definitely need some R&R with all the crazy stuff that's been whirling around lately. So pardon the dust for a moment, I'm going to go frolic in the sand and sun! In the meantime, I've scheduled some articles and posts while I'm gone. Feel free to follow me on Instagram (drsheilagyn) for photos, adventures and silliness. Take good care of yourself and each other!

Here are some wonderful quotes from a recent podcast I did SGR Podcast with Dawn Serra. I cover #herpes (of course), vaginal discharge/ odor, female anatomy, and much more! If you haven't checked it out yet, click the link here... here you go! sexgetsreal.com/ep178
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